Not So Perfect
by Gen Rhapsodos
Summary: Shego and Rachel return home. Shay lets go of his resentment and there's a bit of sexual humor in this. Haha! Don't forget to review please! RyGo RachelxEmily


** Not So Perfect**

_Falling a thousand feet per second,  
you still take me by surprise  
I just know we can't be over,  
I can see it in your eyes  
Making every kind of silence,  
takes a lot to realize  
It's worse to finish than to start all over  
and never let it lie  
And as long as I can feel you holding on,  
I won't fall,  
even if you said I was wrong_

I'm not perfect,  
but I keep trying  
Cause that's what I said  
I would do from the start  
I'm not alive if I'm lonely,  
so please don't leave  
Was it something I said,  
or just my personality?

_~ Perfect - Hedley_

Rynn was in the middle of washing the dishes when the doorbell rang. "Hirith, could you get that?" she called, up to her elbows in soapy water.

"Do I look like the butler?" Hirith called back from the next room. The silver-haired woman grabbed a dry dishcloth and hastily dried her hands.

"Can't rely on anybody these days," Rynn muttered irritably. When she answered the door, Shay was leaning against the porch railing with his right arm tucked behind his back.

"Oh, it's just you."

"Thanks for the kind greeting, Mrs. Rosehart," he said in his light accent. He was wearing a plaid sweater-vest over a dress shirt with a tie and very tight skinny jeans. His dark brown hair was windswept. His debonair looks made Rynn feel self-conscious of her appearance. Her hair was a mess and she was currently covered in suds.

"You okay there, Bubbles?" Shay asked, grinning widely.

"Oh shut up." The elf tried to slam the door in his face, but he blocked it with his foot.

"Forgive me…" the musician spoke in a soft voice, "Here you are."

He handed her a white Carnation, clearing his throat and looking away afterward. Rynn held the flower up to her nose and inhaled.

"Thanks. This is really…sweet of you," she told him, smiling.

"You're welcome. I just want you to know how much I c-ca…" Shay turned pink, stuttering hopelessly, "-_care_ about you."

Rynn stepped back and gestured for him to enter the house. Once inside, he kicked off his Converse and turned to the elf. She immediately averted her eyes, sensing he was about to speak.

"So…how are you?"

"I'm fine, thanks Shay."

"What are _you_ doing here?" Hirith sneered, appearing at Rynn's side and glaring at him.

He stuffed his hands into his pockets and stared at his feet. "I came to visit my friend. What is it to you?" he replied stiffly.

"I don't want you here and neither does she. If I were you, pretty boy, I'd leave," Hirith said coldly, her gaze more intense by the second. Shay made no move to go and remained where he was standing.

Ignoring Hirith's dirty look, he explained, "You're not the only person I made a promise to, Rynn. I also promised Shego I would protect you at any cost. So, like it or not, I'm here for the long-run."

Hirith took Rynn's hand and gave it a squeeze. "I'll get rid of him," she whispered, lips barely moving. Rynn shook her head carefully.

"No. I want him to stay here." The dark-haired celebrity smirked, satisfied. Hirith stepped down on his foot hard enough to make him yelp in pain.

"Now you remember she's still very much a married woman," she warned icily, "so pull any shenanigans and I'll tear you limb from limb, kapish?" She smiled sweetly. "Cause you _do_ like her right?" Rynn gave a disgruntled snort.

Shay's ears turned pink in embarrassment, his foot throbbed. "What ever makes you think that?" he challenged coolly.

"Psh! You've been gaping at her like a fish since you walked through the door."

"Well, she's very eye-catching!" the musician countered hotly. This comment earned him a half-hearted punch in the arm from Rynn.

"Idiot."

"Yeah…well…Rynn kissed me," Shay blurted, pointing.

"I did no such thing!" Rynn cried defiantly, crossing her arms and frowning at him.

"That's just gross," said Hirith, pretending to gag.

The young musician threw her a dark look. "You're the one to talk!" he exclaimed, "You kissed me, too."

"And did I say I _liked_ it???"she snapped and gave him a rough shove.

"You never said you didn't." Rynn rolled her eyes and went to finish washing the dishes. They were arguing like an old married couple and it was getting on her nerves.

"You can't say you don't like _this_…" Shay leaned toward the fuming woman and kissed her on the lips. After he pulled away, Hirith stood motionless, her eyes closed. He held his breath, waiting for his doom.

_SLAP!_ In the kitchen, Rynn dropped the plate she had been holding.

"You dirty bastard!" Hirith screeched.

"You totally liked it! Haha!" Shay cried victoriously.

"You sad, despicable excuse for a man!" The sound of cloth ripping.

"AH! That's my pants!"

"You're gonna have to go harder than this," Hirith retorted. Rynn broke a tea-cup.

_THUD_. "Why would I _want_ to go in _there_, stupid?!" Shay yelled.

"Cause it's the only way to do it, dumbass!"

"You're sitting on my kidneys woman!"

Rynn hurriedly flicked on the radio and turned up the volume, not wanting to hear anymore.

They appeared a few minutes later, looking mad and ruffled.

"Doesn't this idiot know how to do _anything_ right?" Hirith growled, seating herself at the table in a huff. Rynn could only manage a small nod.

Shay's pants leg was torn and the studded belt he had been wearing was mysteriously missing.

"How could I do it with you on top of me?" Shay said, exasperated. The elf was staring at them, her mouth hanging open.

"Oh…dear god…" Hirith gasped, realising what their quarrel must have sounded like.

"_NO, NO, NOOO!_" Shay held up his hands and stepped back a few feet, not wanting to be near Hirith.

"We were trying to get-" Hirith tried to explain, but Rynn covered her ears and furiously shook her head. Shay face-palmed. Hirith looked embarrassed.

"Why would I want to have sex with _her_?" As soon as the words came out of his mouth, he regretted them.

Hirith met his eyes and he knew they were both thinking the same thing. Rynn sighed and patted her shoulder.

"You have to admit that it was quite foolish of you. I mean you and Shay of all people."

"I'm sorry, Hirith," Shay apologized, hanging his head. Suddenly, he was lying with his back pressed to the cold floor. She stood over him and brought her foot down an inch above his unprotected face.

"I hate you, Uchiha. I absolutely _loathe_ you..." she said through clenched teeth. With that, his nose broke under her foot. Rynn gasped and pushed her aside. She kneeled next to Shay, who had blood gushing from his nose and all over his face.

"Shay!" The elf's voice sounded far away and everything in the room seemed to spin before his eyes. Bleeding profusively, the musician stood up and staggered.

"…Deserved it…" Hirith muttered. He cracked his nose back into place and tasted blood in his mouth. Rynn held onto his shirt, an expression of worry etched on her face. "Are you alright?"

He shook his head and walked toward the bathroom, unconsciously making a trail of blood as he did so. Behind him, the two women were now engaged in a shouting match.

"Was that _really_ necessary?"

"Yeah, it was!"

"Maybe if you didn't play games with him-"

"What games?!"

Shay tuned them out and closed the bathroom door behind him. He ran the water and splashed it onto his face. The water turned a dark red. _Hirith's right, I did deserve that_, he thought, staring at himself in the mirror. He turned off the water and wiped his face clean with a bath towel. A knock on the door.

"Still alive in there?" Rynn pondered. Shay quickly stuffed the bloody towel into the hamper basket and stepped out.

"I'm going out to get a drink," he declared.

"You're leaving?" The silver-haired woman sounded surprised.

"Well, I'm not staying here with her."

To her bewilderment, Shay pulled her into a tight hug. The strong scent of blood on him made her throat burn. He let go a minute later and sighed deeply. She watched him as he opened the front door and walk out into the night.

"Good riddance," Hirith mumbled under her breath.

True to his word, Shay made a stop at a nearby beer store and bought a bottle of the strongest vodka available. _Nothing like a few shots to calm my nerves_. But when he pulled his Camaro into his driveway, he found it strange to see that some of the lights on the bottom floor were on.

At that time, Emily was usually out partying with friends till odd hours of the morning. He turned the key in the ignition and the engine died. Slowly, the musician climbed the porch steps and opened the door.

"Uncle Shay!!!" A flash of green. He felt a pair of arms wrap around his torso in a bone-cracking hug. The bottle of vodka fell to the floor, rolled, and luckily, did not break.

"R-Rachel?" He looked down in awe at the young green-eyed woman in his arms. She bore a very similar scent to Shego's and her skin was almost hot against his. Rachel laughed and nuzzled his chest.

"Miss me?" she said. Shay glanced up and saw Emily, looking much happier than she had in a long time. He warmly returned the embrace and placed a kiss on the top of Rachel's head.

"It's great to see you, kid." Emily stepped forward, pouting cutely.

"She's my girlfriend, ya know!" the actress stated teasingly, sticking her tongue out at him.

"Shego's at our place, if you're wondering," said Rachel, and was silenced by Emily's eager lips before she could say anymore. He briefly observed the couple before picking up the fallen bottle and popping it open.

The musician enjoyed a long drink, not pausing for air until he had swallowed five mouthfuls. He was debating on whether or not to face Shego. He felt happy and resentful about her return. Shay wanted to hate her for leaving without as much as a simple good-bye or explanation.

But he still loved her. Shego had been his closest friend. His best friend. It was with the last drop of vodka that he made his decision.

Rynn could not believe her eyes. Her Shego, breath-taking and beautiful, was standing before her. It felt as if there was an invisible hand clutching her heart, squeezing what was left of it. This surely was too good to be true. Lately, her dreams seemed a lot more realistic.

Recovering her voice, Rynn said, "Change back now Shay. If you came here for another make-out session, I'll kick your sorry, senseless ass out the door."

Shego, who of course was not Shay, blinked. "Shay…? Making out with you?"

"Don't play dumb!" The pissed elf snatched up a wooden broomstick and held it like a weapon. She twirled it in her hand threateningly, not taking her eyes off the villainess. "Last chance," she warned.

But Shego remained calm and easy-mannered. "You seriously think I'm Shay?"

"Can you prove otherwise?" The thief pretended to think, looking tired of the situation.

"Would he know you have a small, vertical scar on your stomach from a fight with Creature years ago?"

"You could have changed into me and took a look." Rynn's blood boiled at this thought. Seeing that there was no other easy way to convince her lover, Shego made a bold step forward and dodged the broomstick when Rynn swung it forcefully at her.

The raven-haired beauty threw it aside and took the elf's face into her hands. She shuddered at the villainess' gentle touch and closed her eyes.

She re-opened them a moment later, afraid Shego would suddenly disappear again and forgetting to think that if could have been Shay that was about to kiss her. But it was a different type of kiss. There was no hesitation, no resistance. Rynn knew it was truly Shego the very second their lips connected. She buried her hands into the thief's silky black hair and pressed herself against Shego as much as she could standing up-right. She wanted to feel, smell, touch, and taste all of this gorgeous woman.

"Rynn honey…" Rynn bit down on her lover's lip and suckled. "You're gonna give me a hickey on my chin."

Rynn giggled and tackled her to the floor. Shego _oofed_ under the sudden weight. "You have some serious explain' ta do, Shaiana Rosehart!"

"I was afraid of that." The raven-haired beauty sighed.

"I'm hooome!" Rachel's voice announced. They heard the door slam and footsteps walk into the room. Rynn's eyes filled with tears when she saw her daughter.

"Hey mother." Shay was standing quietly in the doorway, not looking at Shego, who was now on her feet and approaching him.

"Hi Shay," she greeted, poking his chest. She studied him, taking in his seemingly careless appearance. His face was thinner, shaping more of his cheekbones and jaw line. He had dark circles under his eyes and his usually robust skin was very pale. He did not make eye contact or even acted like she was there.

"I go away for a few months and you dye your hair brown," Shego teased. "And since when do you smoke cigars? You reek." She made a disgusted face, chuckling. Then feeling a strange urge to do so, the thief reached up and brushed her hand across his cheek. He withdrew slightly.

"You look good with facial hair." Shay cast her a cold stare and went over to Rynn and Rachel. Rynn was hugging the teen like it was the end of the world. He joined into the embrace.

"Can't…breathe," Rachel groaned, her face pressed against his shoulder with Rynn's arms around her in a death-grip. Shego quirked an eyebrow. _Is he giving me the cold shoulder?_ She spotted Hirith and managed a half-smile. She secretly had a soft spot for her. But only because the woman was the spitting image of her wife. They couldn't be more different. Shego soon found herself being hugged.

"Aw, I missed you, Sheeg!" Hirith exclaimed happily. The notorious thief shifted uncomfortably.

"I think you owe me an apology," rumbled a deep voice. Hirith released Shego and stared at Shay, who stood behind the villainess.

"Sorry about your nose. Now will that help you sleep at night?"

"It might help I suppose."

"Are you going to give her a hug or what?" She nodded her head in Shego's direction. The green thief gave him an odd, hopeful glance. The musician blinked then called over his shoulder, "What is it you want Rynn?"

"She didn't call you," Hirith pointed out but he had already gone. She turned to exchange looks with Shego. "What was that about?" she asked, baffled. The green woman sighed.

"I have no idea."

It was around 9:00 the next morning when Nessa arrived at the silent house. She had gotten a phone call from Rynn during the night. Shego was finally home. Nessa poked her head into the living room and spotted Shay sleeping soundly on the couch. She covered a hand over her mouth to muffle her laughter. Even in his sleep, he looked angelic and handsome.

Tip-toeing, she crept over to him and sat on the edge of the occupied couch. She brushed the hair from his eyes and watched the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. Completely mesmerized, she trailed a finger along his stomach, tracing the outlines of his toned muscles. She hadn't seen him shirtless in a while. She wondered why he even bothered to wear a shirt.

Shay groaned, making her jump. His hand reached out and grazed her as he stretched, yawning loudly.

"Ness," he said, opening his eyes and smiling fervently at her. His voice was still heavy with sleep.

"Good morning rockstar. Sleep well?"

"Yeah. But only because I dreamt of you." He took her hand and laced their fingers together. Nessa laughed.

"That was extremely corny."

"I know," he replied, sitting up a little on his pillow. Nessa looked down at their intertwined fingers and sucked in a breath.

"I love you," he said quietly. She sighed and rested her forehead against his.

"I love you, too…"

A few minutes of still silence. "I'm worried about you, Ness." She stiffened.

"Please don't. I can tough this out."

"But I don't want you to go through this alone. You need me."

Nessa rubbed her eyes with her sleeve. "I don't want you to see me in pain. The last thing I want is for you to suffer too," she said sadly.

"You're too sentimental, love," Shay murmured, lifting her chin. Nessa gave him a small, timid smile. She slid her arms around his neck as he kissed her, leaning into him. He had his hand up her shirt when Rachel walked casually into the room.

"Holy fuck!" The teen tripped and face-planted over the coffee table. Shay quickly pulled away and withdrew his wondering hand from Nessa's shirt, blushing madly. Nessa giggled and helped Rachel up.

"You silly klutz."

"Next time, post a large neon sign on the wall saying: 'Do not enter, currently sucking face,'" she replied gravely. The musician couldn't help but to laugh at this.

"I'll write that down as a side note." He stood and grabbed his shirt that had been hanging from the armchair and slipped it on. Nessa smirked and groped his butt when his back was turned.

"Oooh, kinky," he said with a big, stupid grin on his face.

"Somebody please get me a bucket," Rachel groaned. Shay handed her a large blue bucket, acting like it was completely normal to pull objects out of thin air. She took one long look at the bucket and threw it at his head.

"I'm glad that was plastic."

"Oh, I'm sure a metal bucket couldn't have even made a dent in your thick skull," Rachel said and winked at Nessa.

"Okay, that's it. I'm outta here ladies," the musician announced, raising his hands in surrender.

"Gotta love him," said Nessa adoringly, gazing at Shay. He scoffed and went off to the bathroom to do his business.

About twenty minutes later, there was a loud crack followed by a bang upstairs. Shay flushed the toilet and scrambled to pull up his pants. He leapt up the hallway stairs, two steps at a time. He came to a halt in front of what he knew was Shego and Rynn's bedroom. He listened carefully with his ear against the door.

"Who's there?" Shego called, sounding strained for some reason.

"Shay."

"Help me out will you?" He twisted the door knob and carefully stepped into the room. What he saw gave him a sudden, massive nosebleed.

The thief lay, handcuffed to the bed frame, naked as the day she was born. Rynn was lying at her feet, also naked, apparently unconscious with a severe nosebleed. The expression on the elf's face made Shay want to burst into laughter.

"Free me so I can murder Nessa," Shego growled, rattling the fuzzy pink handcuffs that restrained her.

Shay wiped his nose. "What the heck happened here?"

"Nessa had a little fun with Rynn you could say," Shego explained, seeming to not mind the fact that he was seeing her nude. He noticed that the big bed was on an awkward angle. The two bottom legs were broken, which clearly was the source of the previous noise. He walked over to the bed and gingerly leaned over the bed-post, wanting to avoid touching her bare body.

"Can't you just melt the cuffs off?"

"Doy. They're plasma-proof. Rynn had them custom-made…I think she passed out from blood loss."

"I can see that." The musician tried to bend the handcuffs with no luck. "Ah, shit. I need the key." He found himself staring at her breasts. Shego rolled her eyes. He hastily pulled up the bed sheets to cover her.

"Sorry. I'm a straight young man…You do the math."

"Just help Rynn. She's getting paler by the minute," said Shego.

"As a heads-up, I haven't had any blood in about a week," he warned, swallowing hard.

"You have some self-control. Do your thing."

"Say what?"

"_Shaaay…_"

He gently lifted Rynn's head, cringing when her blood got on his hands. "Rynn?"

"I want a pretty pony daddy," she mumbled sleepily.

"Ohhh…kaaay." Unable to resist his thirst any longer, the musician lightly licked some blood off her cheek.

"Oh no you don't!" Shego kicked him in the back of the head, making him fall on top of her lover.

"Ughhh…" he groaned, his face pressing into Rynn's breasts. Stars danced in front of his eyes as he slipped out of consciousness.

To make matters much worse for Shego, Rachel ran into the room, a camera in her hands. "Woo! I am _so _putting this up on the internet for the world to see." _Click_, went the camera.

"Don't you dare…" warned the cuffed thief, feeling very outraged at her current position. Her left eye developed a tick. Rachel saluted a peace-sign and disappeared.

"GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT YOUNG LADY!!!"

Just then, Rynn decided to wake up. She took one look at Shay on top of her, screamed, and threw him off the bed.

"Sick pervert!"

"Tell me about it," Shego agreed. "Can you please take these cuffs off? I need to take care of Nessa."

"Um…" Rynn swallowed nervously, "She kinda…stole the key." She scratched her cheek guiltily.

"_NEEESSSAAA!_" Shego roared. Somewhere downstairs, the wanted woman snickered and twirled the key-ring on her finger.

"Hoosha."

Shay opened his eyes. A pair of bright green ones were staring down at him, unblinking.

"How many fingers am I holding up?" Shego questioned, raising only her middle finger in front of his face.

"You're flipping me off."

"Correct."

Even though his brain was a bit fuzzy, he remembered he wasn't talking to the villainess. He glared at her. Shego, fully-dressed, pushed him down when he attempted to sit up.

"I hit you pretty hard. Rest. And if you need anything…I'll be downstairs, 'kay?"

Shay rolled onto his side. "…"

"Suit yourself then."

When she left, he glanced around the room. _Spare room no doubt_. The musician could tell from the lack of furniture and the small, lumpy mattress on which his now lay. Shego returned awhile later when he was beginning to doze off.

"Could I…have a word with you?" He sneezed.

"Whatever," he said gruffly, wiping his nose. She sat beside him and folded her hands on her lap, not knowing what to say next.

"I'm sorry for being away so long…" She lifted her head to look at him, her pale face grave. "You were one of my most trustworthy friends. You always went out of your way to make me happy…and you've saved my ass more times then I can count…" She let out a shaky laugh. "You were there for me, too. Like when I went blind…"

"Rynn got mad," he remembered, a smile appearing on his lips.

"Yeah…but right then I knew we connected. Something happened that day between us." Shego gazed down at his hand on top of hers. "I owe you thanks, Shay."

That's when he held out his arms to her, now forgiving and letting go of his resentment. Tears were building up in his eyes and she noticed. The thief hugged him intimately, nuzzling his neck.

"Is this the first time you've let yourself cry over me?" she whispered as he trembled slightly.

"No…Definitely not. Do you have any idea how much I love you, Shaiana?"

She shook her head. "I don't believe I've ever told you…"

"You don't need to. I've always known," he replied, breathing in deeply and liking how warm the villainess felt against him.

"Not to change the subject but, I heard about you and Nessa." Shego grinned when he flushed pink.

"Yeah. I'm thinking about…" He paused for a moment, "…asking her to marry me."

"Say what?!" Shego said a little too loudly, her eyes popping. This was the last thing she'd expect to hear him say. "_Marry?_ You realize how-"

"-crazy that sounds. Yes, I know," he finished. "But I love her."

Shego groaned and rested her hands on his shoulders, staring directly into his blue eyes. "Nessa doesn't do long-term relationships and neither do you, Romeo," she exclaimed. "But despite that, I'll be there for you, okay? That's a promise."

"I promised myself I'd try for her…I know I'm not perfect, but I'm willing to try," he told the pale-green thief sincerely.

"Oh you love-sick pup!" She held his face in her hands and planted a kiss on his nose. "Give it more thought. You're a smart man."

"Alright," he agreed, smiling stupidly. She gave him another hug.

"Why are you smiling at me like that?"

"Oh, I dunno…You're cute?"

"Nice try, Uchiha."

"What exactly happened after you knocked me out?" he asked curiously.

"Rynn beat you with a pillow and I chased Rachel down and gave her a wedgie," Shego said in all seriousness.

"For reals?" Shay sniggered.

"No," the thief stated flatly, "I lied about the wedgie part. And what's with Rynn telling me you and her made-out when I was gone?"

"Uhhh…It was nothing!" he lied poorly, making his escape.

"You can run but you can't hide," she sing-songed, smirking. He sweat-dropped.

"True to that. Are you mad?"

"Come over here and find out."

"Nah, I'll pass. H-hey! Stay away!" He was too slow. _SMACK!_

"YOW!"

"Hopefully you've learned your lesson this time. Rynn's lips belong to me and so does the rest of her, si?" Shego smiled sweetly.

"Uh-huh," Shay whimpered.

"Good boy." The thief patted his head. "...You still have to explain why you shape-shifted into me when I specifically told you not to. Tsk, tsk. Is that why she let you kiss her? _Hmmmm???_"

Shay ducked and rolled under the bed. _I am so dead meat…_he thought, curling up in a fetal-position and fearing for the worse.

_What really happened to Rynn and Shego…_

_**Rynn & Shego:**_ *doing the deed when the bed suddenly breaks*

_**Rynn:**_ "Oopsie." *giggles* ^__^

_**Nessa:**_ *enters and stares* "Whaaaazz happenin'?" *sits on bed* =]

_**Shego:**_ (-_-)u "…"

_**Rynn:**_ O//_//O "N-Nessa…What do you want?"

_**Nessa:**_ *winks and pulls out a pair of fuzzy pink handcuffs* "…Shego darling…"

_**Rynn: **_*gasps and blushes* __"Where did you find those?!"

_**Shego:**_ *is handcuffed to bed-frame before she could blink* "WHAT THE FUCK?!" DX

_**Nessa:**_ *crawls on top of Rynn and pins her down* "Let's have some fun, babe." *grins deviously*

_**Rynn:**_ O____OU *squirms*

_**Nessa:**_ *leans down and licks her ear* "…Joo taste very good." *chuckles*

_**Shego:**_ *ogles with her mouth hanging open* 0O0

_**Nessa:**_ *takes Rynn's hand and places it on her breast* "Feel 'em up real good, hon." =D

_**Rynn:**_ "Oh…my…god…" *turns bright red and gets a severe nosebleed* X___X

_**Shego:**_ __ "Nessa…Today you die." *growls*

_**Nessa:**_ *laughs manically* "MUHAHAHA!!! You'll never catch me!" *disappears in a cloud of red smoke*

_**Rynn:**_ "Ughhh…" *twitches*

_**Shego:**_ "Sonofa-" *censored* D=

_FIN…_


End file.
